now we are three.

“A Short Testament” by Anne Porter

Whatever harm I may have done
In all my life in all your wide creation creation
If I cannot repair it
I beg you to repair it,

And then there are all the wounded
The poor the deaf the lonely and the old
Whom I have roughly dismissed
As if I were not one of them.
Where I have wronged them by it
And cannot make amends
I ask you
To comfort them to overflowing,

And where there are lives I may have withered around me,
Or lives of strangers far or near
That I’ve destroyed in blind complicity,
And if I cannot find them
Or have no way to serve them,

Remember them. I beg you to remember them

When winter is over
And all your unimaginable promises
Burst into song on death’s bare branches.

When Atticus was born, I said that we were a family of three, and it’s true enough that there were three people in the house. But there was also our grumpy bunny, who was ever-so-creatively named Big Bunny (after these excellent videos which you should watch if you haven’t). I don’t talk much about her because there are only so many things you can say about a bunny, even a big one. She loved crunchy things like tortilla chips and carrots. She liked music and lounging. She was not a snuggler. She seemed to disdain everything around her, as if she was the Dowager Countess. She especially disdained Atticus, who acted just as you would expect a small child to act with a rabbit. He tried to ride her, threw his toys in her cage to share with her, and took delight in giving her things from our refrigerator. Yesterday, he stood (naked) (don’t ask) by her cage and yelled at her, “HI BIG BUNNY! BIG BUNNY! BIG BUNNY!” I feel fairly certain that she was rolling her eyes internally.

Big Bunny has been in decline over the past year, and the past few weeks especially. This morning she passed away quietly. She is buried in the back of our yard by the fence, under the tree that’s marking spring with the most beautiful purple buds. She was my special bunny friend and I will miss her.

(One of my favorite pictures of my two children interacting.)

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