progress.

I didn’t bond instantly with Atticus like some moms say they do, and I took our nursing relationship for granted as the easy way to build our closeness. Now that that is over, I am finding that I have to work a little bit harder to engage him and spend time with him.

Atticus is a daddy’s boy. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt my feelings a little bit that he’s always so excited to see his daddy, but then I remember that if I had the choice, I would rather spend time with Mike, too. He is definitely the more nurturing of the two of us. I had gotten used to Atticus having two daddies, but he has just started calling me Mama instead of Daddy. I will admit that I kind of loved telling people that Atticus has two daddies. It’s a stage I will be sad to leave behind.

I feel the normal amount of mom guilt over the fact that I am not as close to him as Mike seems to be, and now that the weather is so nice, I’ve been trying to spend lots of outside time with him in the afternoon and to read books with him while Mike works on dinner. We have made some good steps, to the point that he doesn’t choose Daddy every single time he wants a story read.

This morning, Atticus woke up and Mike brought him in our bathroom to eat breakfast. As we usually do. And, yes, I feel like a big jerk for all those times I was like, “BREASTFEED IN THE BATHROOM! WHY WOULD I WANT TO FEED MY BABY IN A BATHROOM?” Um, I guess because we all need to be out of the house by 7:30? Normally we let Atticus play while he eats his banana and drinks his milk, but this morning I took time out of getting ready to hold him in my lap while he ate. We snuggled and I talked to him. I tried not to worry about being late to work. After he finished I asked him if he wanted to get down. He shook his head no.

For my restless, running boy, this is definitely progress.

And I wasn’t even late for work.

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  1. By Two Daddies | Mexican Sushi on 5/29/2012 at

    […] But most of the time, he interchangeably calls us Dada.  (As our friend Kari wrote about her own toddler, it is pretty entertaining to tell people that he has two daddies.  […]

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