Dear Atticus, on being chosen

mike, kari and atticus

Dear Atticus,

There’s a blog that I have read for several years, as the author has moved from single life (with dogs) to a family with her husband (and dogs), through infertility (and dogs), and into the world of adoption. Also, she has dogs. Late last night, after I was in bed, she announced that they’d gotten the call, that there was a baby boy who had been born. I have been following her updates on her Twitter stream and her blog as they are traveling closer and closer to this boy who will soon be part of their family. It is very exciting and makes me a little bit teary (although that’s not a super difficult thing to do these days, really. I have been awake at 3:00 every morning this week. I feel like crying all the time).

We are moving closer to you, too. The days are slipping away. In about six weeks, we will no longer be a family of two, and everything we have known about being a family will change. This has been a weekend of time with friends and family, and I am grateful (though incredibly tired) for these last bits of time for myself. Coffee and lunch and dessert and shopping. A haircut. So much kindness and grace sent my way.

I think the message of adoption is a powerful one. Not that the adoptive parents are saviors, but that the choice to be a family for a child is a beautiful thing. Though you are growing inside of me, we made a conscious decision, too. It was different than the choice to adopt, but it was a choice just the same. It is so important to me that you know that. I have always liked how the Bible is very clear that God chose us, and we want you to have that same sense of belonging to our family, too.

We have been watching you get bigger this past week. You have given me a little bit more space under my ribs, but both of us seem more uncomfortable overall. We have seen something like elbows or knees sticking out. I can’t say that I would have chosen this part, the sleeplessness and the discomfort and the juxtaposition of being stretched so thin while also being so big. But this is part of moving closer to you. We can’t wait to meet you in just a few more weeks.


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