This means war.

Dear Friends,

There has been a lot of talk in recent years about our culture’s War on Christmas. I am here today to bring your attention to an even more pressing problem. Instead of being allowed to focus on gratitude, family, and food, three of my own personal favorite things, we are forced to move directly from Halloween straight into the Christmas season. Whither Thanksgiving? Why must we forsake our cornucopias, our fall leaves, our pumpkins? I will tell you, Friends. It is because our culture has declared a War on Thanksgiving.

Every year, I fight this battle, resisting the Christmas music and decorations until the day after Thanksgiving. I focus on the opportunity to spend time giving thanks, to celebrate with family and friends, and to eat a metric ton of food. As Halloween decorations have increased in recent years, this battle has become more and more lonely. Fewer and fewer people are able to resist the Yuletide Agenda, as the Yuletide Elitists (or “Yuletideists”) encourage everyone to begin decorating for Christmas at the beginning of November. Some of these Yuletideists even invoke the name of Jesus in their early decorating. But I am pretty sure that Jesus, a humble carpenter, would rather that we spent more time focusing on gratitude than on throwing him a birthday party. It saddens me to see the hyperopia that these Yuletideists are engaging in, missing the beauty of the November holiday by focusing on one that doesn’t arrive until the end of December.

Friends, I have done my part this year, standing up for Thanksgiving and its delicious turkey, its flaky pumpkin pie, its green beans wrapped in bacon. I have preached the beauty of focusing on the present. But I am growing weary. No, do not fear, I am not in danger of caving. I am just in need of your encouragement. Continue to stand strong, to resist the pull of the Yuletide Agenda. Make your paper turkeys shaped like hands. Wear your pilgrim hats with pride. Take your tryptophan-induced nap. Look at the smiling faces of the people you love. Celebrate the purity of a holiday that retail hasn’t managed to co-opt for its own purposes. And let the Christmas season arrive at its designated time, as the Lord and the calendar intended.

With all Thanksgiving love,

(P.S. This letter was inspired by several conversations with my friend Emily, who kept reporting all the Christmas music she was listening to. I gave her the seventh Harry Potter book in an attempt to get her to stop the early decorating. Who has time to pull out the garland when there is an epic battle between good and evil being fought? Take that, Yuletideist Agenda!)

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    This means war. – Through a Glass, Darkly