In which I teach you the truth about hieroglyphs and UFOs.

For her 30th birthday, my friend Melissa had a murder mystery party. I was an archaeologist who believed that hieroglyphics hold evidence that UFOs have come to earth. Here are some pictures from my expeditions!


Here I am with my friend Indiana Jones. Perhaps you have seen some of his documentaries. We went together on a trip to recover some artifacts. He’s just as nice as you would imagine.


Here I am at Stonehenge. That was a really great time for me, communing with the heavens and those not from our world.


Here I am with King Tut. This was my most recent trip to Egypt. Soon my work will be published and the world will understand the truth about these ancient writings and what they teach us about other planets.


And, finally, here is another picture from Egypt. It was a lovely trip.

Mike was an entomologist. Here is a picture of his costume:

Those are shorts that he had on. And also knee socks.

Here is a partial picture of my costume. I do not yet have on my glasses or my foil hat. But, behold my awesome bone! I got that bone at school. And check out my t-shirt. I had a fun time with this costume.

I don’t want to give away the ending, but, apparently, when I say that I will date anything, I mean that I will date anything. Even vicious murderers.

Here are Emily’s pictures. In which you can see my tin foil hat. I know that’s what you’ve been waiting for. (The one of my hat floating in the background makes me laugh very hard.)

Speaking of Emily, here she is with her husband John. I mean . . . here are Amanda the movie star and Bud the sleazy lawyer. (Amanda and my character had a few, how do you say, issues with each other.) Bud’s jacket/tie combo was a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

I had never done anything like this before, and it was very fun. People were in character and got into it more than I thought they would, which made things especially awesome. Like Emily (Amanda) telling everyone how awful I (Carly) was all night (which, to be honest, was basically . . . true. hee hee). We weren’t supposed to know about each other’s characters beforehand, but since I was helping Mike with his costume, I knew he was an entomologist. And I knew from the information that I was given that the entomologist and I were not going to get along. At all. Because the entomologist was a terrible person who had done something awful (conveniently, the entomologist didn’t know about the awful things that the archaeologist had done. Three words: Cask. Of. Amontillado.). We spent all day Saturday “arguing” about what a terrible person the entomologist was. I choose to believe that this only enhanced our scenes at the party. Happy birthday, Melissa. And also, can Mike and I send you our therapy bill?

(Special thanks to Brian for his photoshop skills. Those pictures were even more awesome than I dared to imagine.)

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