Not the venti.

Friday, when the very nice people at Barnes and Noble offered me a free cup of coffee, I took it. And drank it. And it certainly did give me energy for the rest of my adventure at Barnes and Noble. The problem started later, when I couldn’t stop, you know, shaking. Feeling like death. Barely being able to walk. The usual.

Did I mention it was a venti?

I don’t know if I’ve ever had a venti before. Not of straight-up coffee, I mean. I sent Alisa emails saying things like, “I THINK I MIGHT DIE, HELP ME,” and she, very sensibly, asked why I drank the whole thing. Would you believe that that truly never occurred to me? Did I mention it was free? Obviously I had to drink the whole thing.

And so, this weekend, I discovered a new motto for my life. “Not a venti.” I stood there, I heard the nice lady order the free coffee for me, and when she said “venti,” I did nothing to stop it. I did it to myself. But, from now on, no, I do not want the venti. Or the supersize. I might want the extra guacamole for an additional $.99, but that’s not exactly the same thing, is it?

Mike very kindly got some food in me once I got home, and Alisa later gave me a very gentle (grande) chai latte to bolster me up, and I managed to go and help a friend paint her guest room. This turned out to be the best thing I could have done, because if I had stayed home, the caffeine would have worn off and I would have crashed. Instead, I was forced to soldier on.

But, seriously, you guys. Who needs that much coffee? That is an insane amount of coffee.

Speaking of food and sweets and such, in the past week, I had crème brulee ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s (I hadn’t been to Ben and Jerry’s in almost a decade), Mike made crème brulee, and we had crème brulee cheesecake with my mom on Mother’s Day. How great is that? So great!

Now I really want some Ben and Jerry’s.

But I’d get a small.

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