Playing house.

When we got married, we had some help with the registry, but mostly we had no idea what we were doing. We registered for a lot of kitchen stuff, which is what we needed the most, and not much else. I’ve had recent conversations about wedding registries, and people are so much more scientific about it than I was, so exact. When I was starting off, it pretty much just felt like we were playing house. We got wonderful things, especially kitchen things that we still use every day, and we are so thankful for them, but we didn’t really understand what we needed to run a household.

Because of that, there are still (five years later) some gaping holes in my household, things like towels (I have some, but we really don’t have enough guest towels) and kitchen towels and placemats. Lots of my friends have placemats for every season! I never do that. I never even use placemats. Our good glass pitcher got broken, and it needs to be replaced. We still don’t have curtains. I wish we had more of our china. But I don’t like to spend money on myself, and I see purchases for the house as spending for myself, so I don’t make it a priority. But the lack of guest towels and curtains still makes me feel like I am playing house from time to time. Like I don’t know how to do the girl thing with the decorating and the cute stuff. Like I am embarassing myself without even knowing it.

I go back and forth as to whether this is a contentment issue for me. Sometimes it is: I am jealous of the new brides who know what they are doing, who know what they need to start off. Sometimes it’s not: I open my cabinet and look at my Fiestaware, and even though there are more hip dishes around, I love mine and I am happy with them. I wish I had thought to register for a nicer blender, but I have great knives. I wish I had more china, but . . . I’m only 26. There are plenty of years to get china. We have fun new red chairs and I made an ottoman out of scratch and we have so many things that it’s hard to imagine I could be discontent at all.

I think (I hope) maybe it’s not a contentment issue, at least most of the time. Maybe it’s just time for me to grow up and realize that, when I get some extra money, I need to focus on things like towels and pitchers and placemats. I need to make curtains a priority. That’s probably the only way I’ll ever feel like a genuine grownup.

So, that’s one of my goals over the next year. We made a lot of progress in the house over the summer, and we’ve got green grass now, so I want to focus on smaller things, like curtains and placemats. Things that aren’t necessary, but that a grownup would have.

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