Emily’s hazelnut and Kari’s big fat lies

Soon after Emily got to the party, she came up to me and said, “What is this I hear about you not liking hazelnut coffee?” Busted. I asked her if she had found that on my archives or if someone had told her, and she said that she couldn’t remember which friend told her, but that she had heard it from someone else. “Jerk,” I said, laughing. We then acted out a scene in which I tried to drink Emily’s coffee and she pulled it away from me, a girl fight resulting in coffee splashing everywhere.

It’s true, you see, that Emily’s decaf coffee is pretty much always hazelnut (though, for the record, she is not the person I was thinking of when I made that post). And it’s also true that I pretty much always drink it. After Emily and I worked this out and progressed to a new level in our relationship, I pulled Kelly over and made her tell the mint chocolate chip story so that Emily would realize that I do this to everyone. Or maybe I told it. I can’t remember. I know Kelly was standing there, at least. Anyway, this was a theme for the rest of the night: Kari is a big fat liar who can’t be trusted. Much later in the evening, Mike’s boss came in and said, “I love those cream cheese cookies!” I told him they were very easy to make, and he said, “I hear from your friends out there that you are a liar who can’t be trusted! You probably slaved over them all day!” I tried to explain to him that I have been struggling lately with the balance between being honest and being polite and he said, “Girl, you just need to speak your truth.” Hee. Some of our other church friends were drawn into this discussion, and they all said that friends should feel free to discuss their food preferences. They said they would tell me if they didn’t like something. And, you know, I would want the opportunity to provide something else (if I had anything else available). I would be mad as heck if people were eating stuff they didn’t like just to be polite. I might only have a PBJ to offer, but at least let me offer it! (Which, I am sure they would say, is how they feel.) For whatever reason, I’m still struggling with this need to be low-key. Maybe I will figure it out one day. I’m pretty sure, though, that I’m not going to get away with hazelnut coffee at Emily’s anymore. Just when I was developing a taste for it and everything. hehe.

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