Through a Glass, Darkly

KARI: Now you got that stupid song in my head. Fix it.

MIKE: Okay . . . how about this? “This is the song that doesn’t end, it just goes on and on my friend . . .”

KARI [singing a slightly slow, jazzy version]: “Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because.” That’s it. Just because.

MIKE: You sing that song boring. You need to sing it fast. I can’t wait to teach our kids that song. On road trips.

KARI: Or “100 bottles of root beer on the wall.”

MIKE: How about 100 bottles of Coke? You can’t add extra syllables to it.

KARI: Well, we sang it “beer.” I was just trying to be considerate and not teach our children songs about alcohol. How did you sing it?

MIKE: Beer, too.

KARI: Oh, well, I guess that’s fine then. We seem to have turned out okay.

MIKE: You could say milk.

KARI: You need something that comes in a glass bottle. Milk doesn’t usually come in a glass bottle.

MIKE: It does sometimes.

KARI: But not normally.

MIKE: It’s so good in a glass bottle. Oh, I love milk in a glass bottle.

KARI: No you don’t. You just think you do. You’re so old, “Oh, Coke hasn’t been the same since they started putting it in plastic.”

MIKE: I like Coke in plastic.

KARI: “Oh, I wish I could drink milk from a glass bottle, like in the old days.” Did you ever actually drink milk from a glass bottle or do you just like the idea of it in a glass bottle?

MIKE: . . .

KARI: If I pour it into a glass for you so you don’t have to touch the plastic, would that cover the glass requirement?

MIKE: I’m done with this conversation.