And I’m not God I’m a girl I confess that I don’t have sea of forgetfulness

I have been in a couple of situations lately where lapsed friends of mine – people who know the most about the deep dark hard things about my life but deserted me when I needed them most – are now trying to rekindle the friendship. In one situation, there was an apology of sorts, but in the other, it appears that they have no idea that their lack of commitment has burned some people.

It’s hard to know what to do in situations like these – should you challenge these people? What’s the point of that – just to demand an apology, or actually to repair the relationship? Is it worth it? How much do you dredge up the past and how much do you just try to move forward?

Mike and I were talking about this last night, and in one of the situations (the one with the apology) he really wants to work on the relationship, but I am feeling more cautious. I can’t imagine diving in and being vulnerable like that again . . . I am not sure whether I feel like it’s necessarily worth it, or whether I feel ready to trust my heart again to people who let me down when I needed extra support. That’s not to say the relationship can’t flourish again, but I can’t really be expected to jump back into the same level of vulnerability.

Of course, there is also the question of whether I am being too hard on my friends. I hold myself to a pretty high standard, and I think that can lead to me having unreasonable expectations of my friends.

I don’t think there are easy answers to any of these questions. So I’ll just keep trying to do the best I can.

No Trackbacks