Category Archives: Funny Stuff

in the cozy zone. 6

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that Mike is addicted to socks, especially wool socks. As soon as it gets below 60 degrees, he’s all, “I better wear wool socks so I don’t catch a chill!” Don’t even get me started on how he really believes that cold feet will make him get […]

how to get in shape: ten easy steps. 6

1. When your son asks what you are doing, tell him that you are going to exercise. Try not to get too upset when you realize he has no idea what that word means. Mentally calculate how long it’s been since you last exercised. Quickly abandon that advanced math. 2. Set your laptop up in […]

conversations with a toddler. 3

This is a conversation we are having a lot lately in our house: MAMA: Atticus, what color is this? ATTICUS: Yellow. MAMA: No. It’s green. ATTICUS: Yellow! MAMA: No. Green. ATTICUS: YELLOW! MAMA: No! ATTICUS: YELLLLLLLOW! He seems to be able to identify some colors and knows some of their names, but whenever I ask […]

most biblical. 1

When Mike and I first got together, I didn’t know much of anything about football. I knew how many points a touchdown is worth, but only because of a lucky guess related to being on the Quiz Bowl team many years ago. Such a nerdy reason should hardly count as football knowledge. And so, for […]

A short play explaining why Atticus will not be getting Christmas presents this year. 2

KARI: Atticus, who am I? Say Mama! Mama! ATTICUS: Dada! KARI: No, Atticus, Mama. Say Mama. ATTICUS: Dada! KARI: Atticus. MAMA. Say MA-MA. ATTICUS: Da-DEE! Fin.

Guidelines for success. 4

Did you ever have a crush on a lifeguard? It’s a big theme in books for teenage girls, but it’s a rite of passage I missed somehow. The beach by my aunt and uncle’s beach house (aka one of my favorite places on the planet, see above) doesn’t have the lifeguards in chairs that I […]

To whom it may concern, early summer edition. 9

Dear Man at the Pool Whose Skin is About to Turn Purple, It’s called sunscreen. Please look into it. Your skin is frightening me. Also maybe you should stop drinking beer and put on a shirt. I have nothing against beer. I just think you should not get any more sun. Your “friend” sitting next […]

I can’t criticize what I don’t understand. If you want to call this art, you’ve got the benefit of all my doubts. 8

(Title quote from Northern Exposure.) A few years ago, Mike and I had a weekend in Asheville. We had planned on going to the Biltmore, but ended up just hanging out in the downtown area, shopping and visiting some art galleries. Now, when it comes to art, Mike and I will be the first to […]

Super Bowl Sunday means different things to different people. 9

Previous Male Bakeoff Entries: 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and last year’s Best of Show. Have I ever talked about our slight obsession with Sky Mall? Mike and I are fascinated by Sky Mall. Who needs to shop in the air? Why are their products so weird? Where can we put this globe that would secretly […]

The differences between us. 7

Scene: The Farmer’s Market, Saturday morning. At a booth of homemade crafts, Mike and Kari spot a snowman in a similar posture to the one on the left, scooping up snow with a shovel. MIKE: Aw! He’s making himself a family! KARI: Or cleaning up the scene of a murder. That . . . pretty […]

There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus? 23

I am posting this for the Tour of Homes. Obviously it is more word-focused than most of the tour posts are, but our house is under construction and we kept decorations to a minimum this year. There’s a big plastic sheet keeping drywall dust out of my living room, which isn’t really something I’d like […]

In which you can read the actual text of my Best Girl speech as opposed to the speech I gave. 15

Do I need to write an obligatory wedding post? You can read what Brandi said to know how Thursday and Friday morning went. You can get Jeff’s perspective here. And Scott’s here. Andrea even talked about it a little bit here. There are pictures all over Facebook (and a few on Flickr). Do I need […]

On being pretentious. 8

I use my own bags at the grocery store. We compost. We have a share in a farm and get most of our produce from there. We also buy a whole lot at the Farmer’s Market. From time to time, we shop at Trader Joe’s. (In fact, we have to drive to Chapel Hill to […]

Overheard at the pool today. 4

An announcement: “Edward Cullen, please bring Bella her sunglasses.” Right, like Edward would be at the pool. His sunbathing would be just a little bit too dazzling.

I lean back, as the evening darkens and comes on. 2

“Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy’s Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota” by James Wright Over my head, I see the bronze butterfly, Asleep on the black trunk, blowing like a leaf in green shadow. Down the ravine behind the empty house, The cowbells follow one another Into the distances of the afternoon. To my […]

A sad song about two people who cannot be together. 2

This is Hank Green of Nerdfighter fame. Best line: “I hope someday his child will rip its way out of your womb.” I laughed so hard I had to pause so I did not miss more of the brilliance.

It’s as if Oscar knows me or something. 4

(This is apparently from Follow That Bird. Which I have only really seen once, but I don’t remember this. Grouches unite!) Okay, to temper the grouchiness, I will tell you a story of something that happened today. I was teaching a lesson on plagiarism and used Michael Bolton as an example, because he had to […]

It was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth-Emmanuel. 0

In honor of both Halloween and 30 Rock being back (yay!), I present you with this clip: And I present the full song for your listening pleasure:

Lego memory lane. 12

This was posted last week, so maybe you have seen it already, but here is a video from Gizmodo showing the Lego vault, where they keep almost every set that Lego has ever created. The post accompanying it is great, too–I feel the same way about Legos and still get them as presents from time […]

These are actual Trivial Pursuit questions. But there is no need to be afraid. 3

Mike would like for me to tell you that he beat me at Trivial Pursuit. Which is fine. I enjoy a good friendly competition. My hat is off to him. He should definitely be proud. After all, while I was getting questions about Confederate generals (which I answered correctly) and retired NHL commissioners (which I […]