belated bakeoff.

I broke with tradition this year and did not write about the Male Bakeoff that our church always has on Super Bowl Sunday. This is not because I was overcome by the awesomeness of Beyonce’s performance (though, to be honest, I was overcome by the awesomeness of Beyonce’s performance) but because I didn’t go this year. Atticus woke up with a fever and obviously Mike had to be there, so he went on his own. I survived my disappointment by staying in my pajamas, which always makes me feel better.

Alisa had planned to go with us, which was fortuitous because it meant that Mike had a cheering section. It was also fortuitous because this was Mike’s ninth bakeoff and I was not too sure that I was going to have anything new to say about dessert or community or winning big prizes. (Is that a spoiler?) Instead, Alisa agreed to write up her experience for a special guest post so that I will continue to have an unbroken string of posts about the bakeoff.

Before her thoughts, I suppose I should tell you what Mike made this year: yet another creme brulee. This one was Hellfire and Damnation S’mores Creme Brulee. (GET IT?) I left the house on purpose while he was making it because watching him agonize over every detail is not my most favorite thing. When I got home, he made me look at the pictures he had taken of each step as he explained them, so that didn’t work out quite like I was hoping.

If you have ever wondered what it is like to attend the Bakeoff, Alisa is here to tell you:

Every year I look forward to hearing about the Male Bakeoff. Such a fun tradition my friend’s church does; every Super Bowl Sunday the men of their church, well, bake. I’ve always known that Mike was a great cook and baker. I tried to get information out of Kari, “What is Mike planning this year?” and no secrets were to be told. No leaks of the great masterpiece that Mike would be working on. This year, I was going to experience it for myself. The morning of the Male Bakeoff Kari told me that Atticus had a fever so they both would not be able to attend the Bakeoff, I was to be Mike’s family for the day.

When I arrived at the church, not totally sure where to go, I just followed the smell of food down the stairs. I found Mike in a lovely bright green sweater who told me to get some soup. After grabbing our soup, Mike with chicken and rice, me with the vegetable we found some seats. I meet their friends, who also had entries in the bake off. After finishing my soup, Mike told me I could get more. I told him I had to save room for dessert and made my way up to the stage to check out what my choices would be. I didn’t make it to the stage before being greeted by their pastor, Michael. I recognized his face from Atticus’s video. He was very kind and asked who I was there with; when I said Mike he said “You admit to being his friend?” This seemed to be the running joke with most of the people I meet that day. To which I didn’t quite understand because Mike is one of the nicest guys I know.

Upon looking over the many choices I would have for dessert, I started to become rather, disturbed. Blood cake. Eye ball rum balls. Mummy brain cake. A beach scene where a shark was eating someone. I walked back to my seat and asked “What is the theme?” Mike replied “Monsters” and then it all make sense. Even knowing that, I passed on the blood cake and stuck to more traditional desserts. I should say that for the month of January I had mostly given up sugar (cept for a few cheat days here and there) so I barely could take a bite out of the 7 different desert samples I had taken. My body got a little woozy with the amount of sugar it just took in. I did finish Mike’s which of course, was my favorite (next to this chocolate mousse cookie dessert that I sadly could not finish). Mike’s was Hell and Damnation s’mores Crème brulee. So many things to love about it, my favorite part was the marshmallow topping.

As the time for awards came around, I had already been sending Kari play by play of the event. Pictures of all the different desserts, who I was meeting, what tasted the best, etc. Mike was busy taking rum balls off of children’s plates. They started announcing the awards, starting with the young men first. I love the fact that kids to adults part take in this (although I was a bit fearful to partake in any of the kids’ desserts) and commented how in just a few years Atticus will get to be a part of event with Mike. They went through different categorizes, placements in different divisions, ‘Weird Cup’, ‘Most Biblical’ (which Mike has won a lot in the past). When Mike didn’t win ‘Most Biblical’, we were close to the end of the awards. Only the biggest and best were left, which I was torn between believing Mike would get “The Best in Show” to getting nothing. Then panic started creeping in, what if he got nothing and I’m the only one here? That would be terrible! What would I do? Thankfully, Mike of course won “The Best in Show” once again. Because it really was the best.

The Male Bakeoff was such a sweet event, even for someone who isn’t a part of this church community. I felt welcomed and had fun with my tablemates. And if you ever wanted to experience this event for yourself, first timers/visitors get first in line to get dessert, so it’s a win-win. Congratulations Mike on another year of a great win and yummy dessert. Thanks for letting me be your family for the day.

I love that Alisa called it a sweet event. Wordplay!

Many thanks to those of you who asked about the bakeoff and why hadn’t I posted about the bakeoff and what were the results of the bakeoff? I hope this will tide you over until next year, when Mike will defend his title. Undoubtedly with something delicious. Probably with something slightly profane.

Previous bakeoff entries: 2005: Chocolate Irish Cream Cake, 2006: Hill of Foreskins Cheesecake, 2007: Whore of Babylon Red Velvet Cake, 2008: Peanut Butter Cup Pie, 2009: Best of Show, 2010: Goliath’s Birthday Party, 2011 Best of Show, 2012 Brownie Mosaic Cheesecake.

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