Dear Atticus, new beginnings

Dear Atticus,

There are a lot of things I want to tell you about the past year. But I thought I should start with the story of your arrival. A lot of people post their birth stories on their blogs, but I was not sure I was comfortable with the state of my cervix being on the internet, so I never posted about your birth. And, as you are a boy and I doubt you want to hear those things, we’ll just skip over that part in this letter as well. Those aren’t the details I want to share with you anyway. So while it is true that I had contractions all day without realizing it (your mom is tough) and went to two parties while in labor (so tough) and drove us home from the parties because your dad had had some wine (extremely tough and also safety first!), that’s not what I want to focus on.

We left our house for the hospital just as the fireworks were going off, right at the stroke of midnight. Your dad turned to me and said, “Happy New Year. We are going to have a baby.” You can expect to hear that story every time we watch one year turn into the next. When I am old, I will call you at midnight just to tell you how, so many years ago, we were leaving for the hospital just at this time. Once we got settled in the hospital, everything worked out just as we would have wanted. Your dad and Grammy were there, happy and excited, keeping me comfortable. You even saved your appearance until my favorite midwife was on duty. I want you to know that your straightforward, uncomplicated birth was a gift to me. It wasn’t the first part of our story together, but it was an important one, and I will always be grateful that I can look back at your birth day and feel such a sense of peace about how smoothly everything went.

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Change is hard for me, Atticus. We are still processing how different everything is now. You have catapulted us into an entirely different realm. Even though we are the same people, we are learning new roles and adjusting to a new way of life. I believe that every day is a new chance to start over, to experience redemption. At the same time, I love that our new lives, your new life, started on the first day of the year. A fresh day of new beginnings for the three of us.

Love,
Mama

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