I love the week between Christmas and New Year’s, the way everything slows down for us. This year, as we are on Labor Watch 2010 (please come soon, little one), things are even slower than usual. The Christmas snow is still blanketing the ground, though our road is as clear and dry as can be. My inbox is empty, as everyone is just waiting for me to send them news. Mike is nesting, and my own creative pursuits are focused on ways to induce labor (already tried: eggplant parmesan, evening primrose oil, any and all spicy food, walking around the neighborhood, and a bumpy car ride). I have been reading old favorites and taking lots of naps. Long ones.
I have been told that it’s best to end the old year the way you’d like the new year to start. I have no idea what the end of this week might look like, but our house is clean, our freezer is full of food, and I have been taking it easy. Seeing as how everything is about to change, as I am full-to-the-brim with baby, this is about all I think I can do.
It doesn’t feel like it is quite enough. Shouldn’t I be making the most of these last few days? Scheduling time with my friends, taking down the tree, running important errands? Maybe, but I am just so tired and in a fair amount of pain. It is difficult to feel as if what I am doing is not enough, to be able to determine whether it’s a reasonable expectation that I should be more active or whether it’s exactly the time when I should be taking two-hour naps. This is a day and age focused on multitasking and achievement. I am someone who needs quiet time to recharge as it is, which is one reason I hesitated when it came to expanding our family. There really are moms who appear to be able to do it all, and I know that I cannot be that person. Something has to give. This week, I am trying to let go of the expectation that this week has to look like anything at all.
I hate to let these precious last few days slip away, but I am trying to see it as the best kind of work I can do right now, waiting and watching and resting. I hope the last week of your year is packed with whatever fills you with joy: time with friends and family, snowball fights, good food, and even lots of naps. Meanwhile, I will be waiting and hoping. Thanks for waiting with us.
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7 Comments
I can relate with the feeling that what I’m doing is not enough, that perhaps there is something else but I don’t have either the knowledge or energy to find it. Sometimes its easier for other people to see what we cannot; to remind us that the things we do (and are) are, indeed, enough. And just right. I will represent all the mothers of the world to tell you that you are doing just right this week. We all can’t wait to meet him, but we celebrate this quiet waiting.
these days are what they are — don’t waste your time worrying about what you could or should be doing — do what your body needs and what you need – sleep – read eat – whatever. atticus will be here when it is time . trust your process.
and this, my friend, is your therapy moment for the day. Free too. Love your blog
Absolutely you are doing the right thing. Enjoy the naps. Take it easy. Enjoy these last few days of pregnancy. I think now is the time of year to just hibernate!
Kari,
I can so relate to your these words of yours, “I am someone who needs quiet time to recharge as it is, which is one reason I hesitated when it came to expanding our family. There really are moms who appear to be able to do it all, and I know that I cannot be that person.” I, too, am a someone who loves quiet time. Yet, here I am with a husband, 4 kids, a dog, 2 rats, and 3 fish
You will find a new normal and your quiet time may look different with Atticus in the mix but it will come. There isn’t a mom out there who has it all together. It is so easy and such a trap to compare ourselves. It is a fight not to compare myself; finding myself always coming up short. But if I can gently encourage you that YOU are exactly who Atticus needs you to be and for any other babies that may follow in the future! Enjoy this special time with your husband as you anticipate Atticus. I found your post through Emily at Chatting with the Sky and so enjoy your writing. You give me quiet in my days 
Thank you for that.
Blessings to you.
i can’t wait to meet your new little one, kari. you are such an example to me, resting and hoping and satisfied with being. thank you.
Blessings to you as you wait and continue to grow your precious little one. You are doing the best kind of “work” and I bet you’ll look back to these days with nostalgia. I wish I’d just stopped and rested at the end of my pregnancies. I can’t even remember now what I was so busy doing to get ready. The time would have been better spent just doing nothing. Keep up the good and noble rest!
So glad to have found your site through Emily’s. And indeed sometimes it is so good just to BE STILL AND KNOW… and yet it is so hard! I am also pregnant and tired and waiting but postponing and not feeling ready and about to travel, and struggling to let myself sit still. This was a good word for me!