Through a Glass, Darkly

Mike and I went to Charleston last week. I maybe forgot to tell almost everybody we were leaving. Sorry about that. To make up for that, here is some helpful information about our trip so that when you plan your next trip, you can take my advice and pretend that you are us.

We went to see the Charleston RiverDogs, and I want to give a PSA about that: The game was a steaming pile of crap. Seriously. They are in the same league as the Grasshoppers, and our stadium is so much more awesome. And our announcer isn’t lame. They even made me feel like Spaz was awesome (though I don’t hate Spaz like Alisa does – I mostly find him amusing). The game itself was not well-played, and I won’t deny that I’ve been to some poorly played Grasshoppers games, but this was a new and awful level of crap.

That’s not to say that we had a bad time. We had a great time. There was a bouncy baseball castle! I just wish that the game hadn’t gone into extra innings so we could have seen the fireworks. So that I don’t sound like a total fiend, I will say that it was very touching to see the players wearing Charleston Fire Department hats, in memory of the fallen firefighters.

Here are some other public service announcements about Charleston. These are much happier. And about food!

We went, once again, to Hominy Grill, where grits are good for you. And they are. So good. The food was once again fantastic. Shrimp and grits, people. Shrimp and grits. Anthony Hopkins thinks Hominy Grill is great, too. I know because there was a picture of him there. Oddly, the picture was in the bathroom. Not taken in the bathroom – hanging in the bathroom. But we all know what happens if you don’t listen to Anthony Hopkins: HE EATS YOUR FACE. Go to Hominy Grill. Your face is so pretty. You want it to stay like that, DON’T YOU?

We also revisited Jestine’s Kitchen for more fantastic food. Jestine’s has been featured in O magazine. If anyone has more power than Anthony Hopkins, it’s probably Oprah. Do what Oprah says. Go to Jestine’s. She could possibly get Anthony Hopkins to eat your face if you defy her. And why would you defy her? Look at these pictures of our food! Why would you not want that? Look how happy I am! I had Coca-Cola cake! And Mike had Pineapple Bread Pudding! Not to mention our meatloaf! So good it makes me weep. I’m crying right now.

One final food PSA: Mike and I went to Five Loaves Café before the RiverDogs game. We found this place on a website, and there are three locations in Charleston, but it’s not a chain. Only in Charleston. You guys, this place was awesome, too! The food was so good! I would go there every week! If I lived in Charleston! Half-price bottles of wine on Tuesdays and Fridays!

We clearly ate very well. Other things we did: float around in the pool. That’s pretty much it. That’s how we roll.