A peek into my mind

At small group on Monday we were talking about forgiveness, and although I did not contribute anything to the discussion, I did have a thought.

I think forgiveness is often overwhelming for me because of wrong things I believe about God. If I feel that God isn’t interested in me, that he doesn’t like me (which is different than loving me), that he’s paying attention to everyone else while I’m sitting in the corner being ignored, then of course it’s harder to be forgiving. I feel that someone has to look out for me, to make sure the wrongs in my life are accounted for, and if God’s not going to do it, I guess it falls to me. So I’m not going to forgive, because I’m taking care of myself, nursing my wounds, making sure the wrongs against me are remembered.

This is wrong on all kinds of levels, but it is interesting insight as to how my mind works, and it’s interesting to see how one wrong idea can affect me so deeply.

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4 Comments

  1. [I]t’s interesting to see how one wrong idea can affect me so deeply.

    Yep.

    Posted 2/9/2005 at | Permalink
  2. The first step to change is knowing what the problem is, right? Yeah, I have no idea…but it’s always good to discover the root of our unhealthy thinking.

    Posted 2/9/2005 at | Permalink
  3. God has no trouble keeping track of everything–including forgiveness situations. 🙂 More than that, He cares about the little details in our lives, and that is what makes Him so awesome (at least to me). Don’t feel like you’re sitting in the corner! Remember Zaacheus! Short guy, high in the tree. Yet God knew where he was, his name, and that he had a house. 🙂 Peace!

    Posted 2/9/2005 at | Permalink
  4. My pastor was talking about this very thing today. Isn’t it great that we don’t set the value on ourselves? God already put a value on us, and paid for it with His Son. Like ebay – though you may think that silly bowl set is only worth $.35, someone else paid $50 and you made BANK! We made BANK, because my set value on myself is so low. Sounds like you’re in the same boat.

    Posted 2/13/2005 at | Permalink

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