One of my (many) failings is how much I . . . I think “depend” is the word I need here . . . how much I depend on the input of others. I can make decisions okay, mostly. But I like to hear what other people think. I am a very communal person. One of the things I love about participating in an online community is the instant gratification of posting a question or statement and having it responded to almost immediately. I stopped blogging for a couple of years because I felt I was writing for others instead of for myself – I was writing to get people’s comments.
This is a huge stressor for me when it comes to things like shopping. I don’t shop very well by myself. I need input from others to tell me if the pants make my butt look too big, or if this brand of pasta sauce is better than that other one. (Well, actually that last one is not true. I always buy Classico. But take it as an example.) I truly get overwhelmed by all the choices on the shelves, and find shopping much easier when I am not alone.
One of the downfalls of needing so much input is that when I get excited about something, I like to share it so others will be excited, too. I had many job interviews in the fall, and I kept sharing with my friends that I had an interview so that they would pray for me and be excited with me. But then job after job didn’t work out. And I was embarassed. I have shared about the house we placed an offer on. Now the house stuff is presenting some difficulties, and I’m embarassed.
I don’t know how to play my cards closer to my chest. I feel that living in Christian community dictates that we share our joys and sorrows with each other. I think my tendency to desire input causes me to overshare. I’m not sure what (if anything) to do about that.
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You shouldn’t be embarrassed. I feel that I know you better as a result, Kari.
I don’t know if you should do anything about that. I think part of being in community is sharing our joys and struggles. Our friends are excited with us at the anticipations of new things (jobs, houses, etc…), and they ae sad with us when things don’t work out. That way we don’t have to keep all our emotions in check all the time, and we have people that will be by our side in laughter and in mourning.
I don’t think you need to be embarrassed if things don’t work out with the house. That happens to many people. Things fall through.
And I would love to read your old blog. Too bad I didn’t know you then.
Look at you guys feeding my instant gratification needs! Yay!
So, it sounds like you are both saying that my honesty is good. Maybe it would be helpful, Geof, if you could tell me how you know me better as a result of my perceived oversharing. How has it helped our friendship? Because I feel like people might get tired of the tedious details of my life. (“Today I made the bed. And then I prayed. And then I cried for two hours. And, oh, I still don’t have a job.”)
I agree with what you are saying, Rhonda – I do feel that’s what Christian community is all about. But I don’t want to always just talk about me. And I’m afraid I do that. (For the record, my old blog is long gone. I have copies of what I wrote saved on my computer, but it’s no longer online.)
I don’t think you overshare…or share prematurely.
I think when you share exciting things your friends are excited with you, and if they fall through, your friends are disappointed with you.
That’s the way it should be.
Kari, sorry for not following up. [I left the office at 3:00 on Friday.]
Little details give context, Kari. I need context clues to put together the things that you don’t say. I guess that I am very much hardwired to want to know what is wrong with someone and try to fix it. [I will love pastoral counseling in seminary.] I’ve learned in amateurishly counseling folks that the thing they come to talk to you about is never the problem that’s really bothering someone. Everyone always makes an excuse to come and talk to you.
And, FWIW, if you wanted to upload old entries, you could. You just copy and paste, then hit “Advanced Editing” to go in and edit the timestamp to the appropriate day/time.