on watching.

Everyone around me is quoting Anne Shirley: “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” But October is halfway over before I start to breathe again after the rush of September. The leaves have just started to change, so maybe I didn’t miss too much.

We have given up our usual October rhythm and cancelled this year’s Great Pumpkin Party. I needed to take a year off, pestered Mike until he agreed. Instead of spending that time planning and shopping and cooking, I have spent it with friends. I am leaning into a different kind of hospitality, one with freewheeling toddlers and you can’t plan what toddlers are going to do.

We have reached the point where we can sit and let the toddlers run around us and sometimes they even pass toys back and forth in a primitive form of sharing. I drink my coffee (always with the coffee) and watch them (always with the watching).

We pray at church on Sunday and I hold Atticus’s hand but I can’t close my eyes because I have to keep at least one on him. He grins at everyone around us and I am watching him and I do not know what is being said. He turns his smile and bright eyes to me and I realize that is okay because this watching, the way it fills my heart, is too a form of prayer.

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