I am assured that peace will come to me.


Mike was gone the last week of July, helping our youth group as they served people in West Virginia. He came back and then I left the next day, to train for my new job. We were apart for twelve out of those thirteen nights, a record in our relationship. One I hope is never broken.

When he was gone, I cleaned things and bought maternity clothes that I don’t quite need (though I do love the stretchy waistbands) and dined a lot with my friends. I finally got over that mysterious second-trimester nausea I’d been dealing with. I lounged by the pool, read some wonderful books, and tried to enjoy my time alone. Seven nights by myself, though, was more than enough, and five nights the next week sharing a hotel room with a future coworker had me completely worn out by the end. My training was surprisingly good, the hotel was nice, and the food was much better than average, but I ached to be home. It’s possible that I am not the world’s biggest homebody, but I would like to think I’m in the running for that prize. More than my house, I wanted to be with the person who makes me laugh with his terrible jokes, who finishes my sentences, who makes a mean batch of shrimp and grits. Now that I have had a couple of days of decompression in one of my favorite places in the world with Mike and my mom and some new-ish friends, I am feeling a little bit more like myself. As an introvert, I need to be with the people who are my solace and my home. I felt far away for a couple of weeks, but I am finding my way back.

I should confess that I have been having a little bit of an identity crisis. I am sure that a lot of women experience that during pregnancy, the question of who you are and who you are going to be. I am also changing jobs, and you can tell me that my identity shouldn’t be in what I do until you are blue in the face, but the truth is that what I do is important to me, and having a different job affects a few things about the way I see myself. Being away from Mike made me feel some of that even more acutely. It also helped to know that he has been pondering some of the same things.

I am assured, yes, I am assured, yes
I am assured that peace will come to me
A peace that can, yes, surpass the speed, yes
Of my understanding and my need
-Josh Ritter

Claire, Kelly, and Sarah have got me thinking about solace this week. Though the views from this porch are incomparable, a true picture of solace will have to wait until I get home, as I find myself without a camera this week.

Linking up to this week’s Wedded Wednesday.

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