An obligatory vampire post.

Everyone at my school is reading Twilight. Students, of course. Middle school students were born to read this series. And the teachers? Many teachers have found that, like me, they cannot turn away from the drama. And the principal? Is also addicted. You guys, I am so sad about this. Because everyone is reading them now. And I read them a year ago (well, except for Breaking Dawn, but . . . let me whisper this so I don’t get beaten up by hordes of angry middle schoolers . . . I didn’t really like Breaking Dawn). I was entertained, but I did not love them. And I don’t really want to go see the movie, because it looks so bad. That first trailer was like a terrible Lifetime movie. At least the story is a page-turner. The movie doesn’t even look like it has that going for it. I see pictures of Richard Pattinson, and I think, “How can people not know he’s a vampire? He looks undead!”

But anyway, back to the books. It’s not just my school! The general blogosphere is now reading them now. I am feeling kind of left out of that, too. Emily and I talked about it yesterday and discussed my feelings of left-outedness. And then we talked about things that are spoilers from Breaking Dawn that I will not mention here. Are you finished yet, Emily? Because I would kind of like to discuss the end with you.

I am already left out enough by the fact that . . . I’d better whisper this, too . . . I like Jacob so much more than Edward. Shhhhhhh! Most of the other teachers seem to feel the same way, and we keep talking about how we would like to make all the girls who are reading the books come to a big meeting so we can tell them, Look, it seems romantic that Edward is so into Bella, and at first that might seem really great and all, but if you think about it, their relationship is really codependent. He’s kind of creepy. And controlling. Breaking her car to keep her from seeing her friends is not cool. And also he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep. Sure, he’s good-looking and perfect and all, but WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT’S NOT ALL THAT ROMANTIC FOR A GUY TO SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AT NIGHT. There’s more to relationships than lust, girls. We want more than that for you. Think about it.

(We know they would not listen, but we would just like to say it.)

(Also, Bella is always talking bad about herself, how clumsy she is and how she’s not worthy of Edward, and that drives me freaking crazy. Could we make our protagonist a little bit stronger, please, since all these girls are wanting to be like her? STEPHENIE MEYER: DO IT FOR THE LIBRARIAN.)

Tonight we went and saw Dracula at Triad Stage. They have a new area upstairs that’s a little more informal, with tables. I told Mike and Brian and Sarah that if Dracula came anywhere near our table, that I would be out of there. And he didn’t exactly come near our table, but he was only about two tables away. I am a big chicken, and I got chills in my spine. I do not like scary things. It was more creepy than flat-out scary, but there were vampires eating babies and this one guy ate a rat. And the sound effects were freaky howling and screaming. I was not a fan of the creepiness. (I did, however, enjoy the play.)

So I have to thank Dracula, because he did something that I didn’t think was possible: He made me miss Edward Cullen. Even though Edward is so revoltingly dazzling, etc. Edward might give Bella chills in her spine (of a very different sort, obviously), but he, thankfully, leaves my spine alone.

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