You, sir, are no Chick-Fil-A.

Mike would like for me to talk to you about something that’s been on his mind the past couple of weeks. That something is McDonald’s new chicken sandwich. Somehow or another, I obtained a coupon for one of their new Southern style chicken sandwiches and one of their new Southern style chicken biscuits. I think it came in my box, the one that had that Madeleine L’Engle book I never told you about (it was good). Though it could have been from school. Teachers get a lot of coupons. Mike, as he does, took the coupon and had the chicken sandwich. The chicken sandwich that wants to be a Chick-Fil-A sandwich, but apparently sadly fails.

I am sparing you the part of the story where he said, “I had one of McDonald’s new chicken biscuits today,” instead of, “I had one of McDonald’s new chicken sandwiches today,” and then he and I spent about ten minutes of miscommunication because I couldn’t figure out why he was talking about the bun. No wonder it was bad! They weren’t even using a real biscuit! But no. That part of the story would take too long to explain.

So, anyway, the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich really wants to be a Chick-Fil-A sandwich, and I have not had it myself, but Mike said it was fine. The chicken, he said, is not good, and is the thing you must get right in order to do the Chick-Fil-A sandwich. This might be McDonald’s best chicken sandwich, but it pales in comparison to the Real Thing, which is, of course, the Blessed Chick-Fil-A sandwich that we in this house know and love.

But that is not what really bothered Mike about the experience. What bothered him was the billboard that he saw later that day advertising the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich. The billboard that said something about how you could get this sandwich every day of the week, even Sundays. And to that, we say, “Booo!” I mean, yes, there have been times that we wanted to have delicious Chick-Fil-A sandwiches on Sunday. But not enough to go to McDonald’s. Especially if that is how they are positioning themselves.

After we had this discussion, Mike, in a move I found hilarious, went and used the coupon to actually get the Southern Style Chicken Biscuit, which, again, he said, was just not as good as the real thing. I would not have gone for the biscuit, I don’t think, if I was not hugely impressed by the sandwich. I just don’t like free food as much as he does. So, the question is, people: Do you want to be the kind of person who will eat a chicken sandwich just because it’s available on Sundays, or do you want to wait for the real thing? Choose wisely. Your soul may be at stake.

In looking up the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich, I came across the following information: On Thursday, you will be able to try the sandwich for yourself for free. Never say I didn’t do anything for you.

ETA: I forgot to say . . . the thing I find most bizarre is that McDonald’s is aping CFA now. You would think they would have tried this, oh, FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. What the heck?!

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