Let the Roomba revolution begin.

Let’s get one thing straight. Having a Roomba doesn’t make me lazy. I am a very busy woman, with a job and church commitments and also I am taking two classes this semester! Also, the Roomba gets under the bed. I never vacuumed under the bed. Our standard of living is actually higher now. (Okay, fine, I’m a little bit lazy. I don’t even care. Being lazy is awesome. A robot cleans my floors!)

By “our” I mean my standard of living and Mike’s standard of living, because Big Bunny? She HATES the Roomba. They are mortal enemies in her mind. When she is in the cage and we start the Roomba, she freaks out, as if she is being mistreated in some way. But when she is out of the cage and we start the Roomba, well, that’s when things get awesome, because she hops around, approaches Roomba, and then, when it turns to vacuum in her direction, as it inevitably does, she freaks out and hops away. Lather, rinse, repeat. Do they make Roombas for rabbit cages? Maybe that would win her over.

Speaking of how it turns around, seriously, I am a little bit frightened of the Roomba. Because no matter where I am in the room, that is where it decides that it needs to be. It always turns and comes STRAIGHT FOR ME. So Roomba either has some serious codependency issues, or it is plotting to kill me. You decide. I have this irrational fear of vacuum cleaners coming alive ever since I saw this one episode of Tales of the Crypt in which a vacuum cleaner SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF PEOPLE. I like you, Roomba, but you stay away from me. At least one room between us at all times.

We want to name our Roomba, but we have had a little bit of trouble choosing a name. I keep saying that Roomba is a boy. Because a robot that cleans my floor, well, that sounds like a boy to me. But Mike says, no, Roomba is a girl, and he constantly refers to Roomba as “she.” Fine, if Roomba is a girl, I want to name her Rosie. But, no again, Mike says that’s too much of a cliche. Our Roomba has no name. And is of unspecified gender. Poor little Roomba.

I have to go now. I am going to watch him/her clean our floor again while eating bonbons. It’s a hard life, but someone has to do it.

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