Our hearts are restless.

I am not one to rearrange the furniture in our house or to get really into deep cleaning, but I do get restless from time to time, so restless that I can barely sit in a chair. So restless that I don’t want to read or exercise or watch TV. And so restless I most certainly don’t want to clean. I have felt a lot like that lately, for all kinds of reasons. Reasons as simple as gorgeous weather and planning to go see J.K. Rowling. Other reasons so much more complicated that it would be better to sit down and talk about them over coffee than to put them here.

St. Augustine’s words have been running through my brain: “Our hearts are restless till they find their rest in Thee.” (I must admit that quote always makes me think of Eve in Circle of Friends, who chooses not to say that sarcastically to Mother Clare. But I digress.) I know that’s true, but it’s hard to know how to find rest. One of the things I’ve been trying lately, in case you haven’t noticed, is baking. I guess it’s my own small way of co-creating. If I don’t feel like reading, at least there are baked goods in the house.

The other thing that’s been helping in small ways is that Mike and I have been teaching Sunday School for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. Every week I am almost overwhelmed with what an incredible responsibility this is, to teach young people about God. And every week I see that I am doing a great thing just by showing up and caring. (But I still worry about teaching them about God. I mean, I have heard so many stories about so many wrong things learned in Sunday School.) It’s really incredible to get to teach them some of these stories for the first time. This week we talked about the 23rd Psalm, and it was great to see it from their eyes, to talk about sheep and shepherds and fear and comfort. That morning, the sermon was also about rest. I am getting the sense that maybe I should try and get some.

I made Mike take a walk with me tonight, and that took some of the edge off of the crazy feeling. As much as I dislike not even being able to sit still and read, I do appreciate the time away from books now and then. I know they’ll be there (in ever increasing numbers) when I am ready to get back to them. Meanwhile, I’m going to try not doing much of anything.

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