Give me banter any day of the week.

Over the weekend, Mike helped me navigate a stressful situation that involved theft, blood, and drama. I had warned him that I would need his assistance, but that turned out to be quite the understatement. He was a calming presence throughout the afternoon, handling some things so I could do others, giving me confidence in my decisions, and emphasizing the things that were going well.

It took longer than I thought for us to get used to each other again when he came back from Costa Rica. We’re not used to living so much life without each other (I lived life! It’s just that it mostly involved doing laundry and planning meals), so it was hard to get on the same page again. And that doesn’t even take into account the changes that a trip like that can bring into someone’s life – seeing sea turtle hatchlings, zip lining in the rainforest, white water rafting. Boy does my laundry seem dull in comparison. The chocolate cake I made, however, was not boring at all.

I am not one to believe that (or live like) I need Mike to be my everything. I have great friends and a great family, but when it comes down to it, Mike is my best friend because I spend the most time with him. I love experiencing life with him, and he’s undoubtedly the person with whom I experience the majority of things. I think that it was hard for us to get used to each other again because I hadn’t been able to tell him the little stories of the day – the silly website I visited, the recipe I want to try, the strange encounter at the grocery store. We worked very hard to reconnect over the weekend, spending time with our rabbits, seeing a wonderful movie, and then, with the theft, blood, and drama, sliding back into a bit of normalcy with our familiar teamwork.

This whole thing was quite a learning experience for me. It had been a while since we were apart from each other for quite so long, especially without being able to talk at all, and our relationship is so different these days than it was back then. The last time he went away for over a week, I hadn’t gone from thinking of myself to thinking of us, even though we were married. The past few years, we’ve gone from just being “fun” to encouraging and challenging each other through some difficult times. It’s gotten easier to see us as a team, which made it harder when my partner wasn’t here.

Though I think we are still pretty fun. I was inordinately pleased to be able to call him last night about a bumper sticker, and happy to have him call this morning and report his latest musings on flavored coffee. I laughed during our, “What are we going to have for dinner?” discussion that turned into silliness. More than anything, I love our conversations that are grounded in the holy ordinary.

“In the end, I think the relationships that survive in this world are the ones where two people can finish each other’s sentences. Forget drama and torrid sex and the clash of opposites. Give me banter any day of the week.” –Hey Nostradamus! by Douglas Coupland

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