Pants = Love

Let’s talk about black pants. Five (FIVE!) years ago, I went into Lerner/NY and Co./whatever that place is called and bought the perfect pair of black pants. For, I don’t know, $30. Maybe $40. They are polyester, so I don’t have to iron them, and I can wear them in all but the coldest days of winter (and this is the South, y’all, so I am saying I can wear them all year long). I can wash them myself. They keep their crease. They’re flattering. I am still wearing them, five years later. I wear them every week. In the summer, I usually wear them twice a week! It’s possible that was the greatest $30 I have ever spent, wardrobe-wise.

But, you guys, these pants, they cannot last forever. And I have exactly zero other pairs of work-appropriate all-season black pants that can replace them. What am I going to do? Black pants are a necessity!

Now, maybe I should take back the “perfect” bit, because I always have to wear these pants with flats. Which is fine. But probably the “perfect” pair would be just a tiny bit longer, so they could be worn with either flats or low heels. But that is such a minor detail when you have loved and been loved by a pair of pants for five years, don’t you think?

(Now that I have denounced the pants in this way, they are probably going to fall apart. Right now. While I’m sitting in this chair. You betray the pants, the pants will get their revenge.)

Regardless of the future of these pants, a girl really ought to own more than one pair of black pants. It’s part of the Girl Code. I am failing as a woman. So, I need some new black pants. I need them to be as great as the ones I have on right now. And I hate shopping with the fire of ten thousand suns. So, I declare that this spring and summer I will be journeying on The Quest for the Perfect Black Pants: 2007 Edition. (The only way to get through the worst kind of shopping – shopping with a goal already in mind – is to make it sound like an epic journey. One day songs will be written about this quest.) I will let you know how it goes. And if you have any suggestions, I could really use them.

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