A letter of desperation.

Dear North Carolinians,

This is a dire situation. We’ve only got one more chance to win the Stanley Cup, and we’ve blown two chances in a row. I am begging you, begging you to change whatever it is you’ve been doing. Have you been wearing a “lucky” shirt or hat? Please wear something else. Have you been watching the game with certain friends? Ditch them tonight. Is there music you’ve been listening to? Change the CD or the station. Is there a couch you’ve been sitting on? Sit on the floor. Better yet, move the couch out of the room. Throw it away, even! Buy a new couch! The Hurricanes are clearly not getting the right vibe from us, the fans, and we need to change things up as much as possible. This means you. North Carolina has never won a professional sports championship, and how will you feel if you keep it from happening tonight? I’ll go ahead and answer that – you’ll feel terrible. Worse than you did the day after the Panthers lost the Super Bowl. Because you’ll know it was your fault. You thought, “The lucky hat has to work this time.” The lucky hat is not going to work. If you’re planning on wearing the lucky hat, you might as well go to sleep.

Today I am wearing red and black. I am ready to cheer my heart out tonight, even though hockey is a sport I don’t completely understand. Please, Hurricanes fans (and North Carolinians in general). Please do what you’ve got to do. Help me make this happen.

Rallying the troops,

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