The amazing disappearing guacamole.

KARI: Where’s the guacamole?

MIKE: It was turning brown on the top.

KARI: Sooooo?

MIKE: . . .

KARI: So, where is it?

MIKE: I ate it.

KARI: All of it?

MIKE: Yes.

KARI: You ate the whole container of guacamole?

MIKE: Yes.

KARI: The whole container? That my aunt flew up from Florida?

MIKE: Yes.

KARI: The whole container that my aunt flew up from Florida for both of us to share?

MIKE: It’s the only thing I had to eat today.

KARI: I didn’t even get to taste it.

MIKE: You don’t like guacamole.

KARI: Yes I do! I introduced you to guacamole!

MIKE: It was in the house at least . . . eight hours. You had your chance.

KARI: I was sleeping then! We brought it home last night!

MIKE: And then you left me alone with the guacamole.

KARI: And then I went to work! To make money!

MIKE: I have lost weight since yesterday. The guacamole diet. Just eat chips and guacamole, and you, too, can lose weight.

KARI: What about cholesterol?

MIKE: My diet is for those Hollywood stars who don’t care about cholesterol. They only care about being thin.

KARI: I am pretty sure that your diet is not going to make anyone thin.

MIKE: Look at the scale. You can’t argue with results.

KARI: You are trying to distract me. But I will not forget that you ate the whole container of guacamole. And I got none.

MIKE: You snooze, you lose.

KARI: I was sleeping, yes, but I don’t think I should be penalized for sleeping at night instead of eating guacamole.

MIKE: Those are the rules.

KARI: Did you eat all the salsa, too?

MIKE: No. You like the salsa.

KARI: I LIKE THE GUACAMOLE, TOO.

MIKE: I thoughtfully left you the salsa.

KARI: Did you have any?

MIKE: No.

KARI: If you eat my salsa, I will cut you.

MIKE: It’s just food.

KARI: Says the man who ate an entire container of guacamole.

MIKE: It went really well with the piece of cheese I stole from your bag.

KARI: . . .

MIKE: Please don’t cut me.

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