Who moved my cheese . . . into his or her stomach?

Many days I bring a Granny Smith apple and some cheddar cheese for lunch. When I am packing my lunch, I take the block of cheese and cut four slices from the short end. Lately, though, the past few times I have brought apple and cheese, when I have gone to eat my lunch there were only three slices. At first I thought, you know, perhaps I am misremembering how many pieces I brought. Perhaps I left one on the counter at home. Perhaps one fell out in my tote bag.

Or PERHAPS someone is eating ONE PIECE OF MY CHEESE. Every day.

Today, I was absolutely sure that I had cut four pieces of cheese. And when I pulled the bag out of the refrigerator, there were only three pieces. I went on a cheese rampage. I went around to different people saying, “Could you just let everybody know that the cheese and apple in the refrigerator are my lunch? That’s what I bring for lunch most days.” And, you know, now that I know for sure this is happening, I will bring my lunch in a grocery bag. To hide the cheese.

But this is not enough. I’m going to go all Veronica Mars on everyone. I’m going to interrogate people. I’m going to set a cheese booby trap. I’m going to find the person who is eating one piece of my cheese. What kind of freak eats one piece of cheese from someone’s lunch?

However, I am not Veronica Mars. So I don’t really have a plan. Help me think of a plan. Help me save my cheese.

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