This is why I could not live up North.

The setting: a lovely cool December morning. Kari is at home, Mike has already left for the day.

MIKE: Hello?

KARI: Be careful when you go out the side door. It’s slippery.

MIKE: Did you fall?

KARI: Yes.

MIKE: Are you laughing or crying?

KARI: Both? I’m not sure.

MIKE: Are you okay? I can’t see your face. Are you okay? I forgot to tell you it was icy on that porch this morning.

KARI: That box of oranges we had left? I didn’t think we were going to eat any more of them, so I thought I’d throw them out. When I stepped on the porch, I fell down a couple of steps.

MIKE: There are only a couple of steps.

KARI: I bounced.

MIKE: I’m so sorry!

KARI: (makes noise between laughing and crying)

MIKE: I can’t tell if you’re okay.

KARI: My shoes are still outside.

MIKE: What?

KARI: My shoes are still outside.

MIKE: Why?

KARI: They fell off. It was like on TV, where the box came open, oranges went up in the air, my shoes fell off. I need to go get them.

MIKE: Hee.

KARI: I know.

MIKE: Are you laughing or crying?

KARI: I can’t tell. I’m shaking all over.

MIKE: I’m so sorry. I know it hurts.

KARI: I’m gonna have a big bruise.

MIKE: The sidewalks had ice on them this morning.

KARI: I know.

MIKE: I know you know. I have never heard you sound so hysterical. I still can’t tell if you’re okay.

KARI: I’m sorry. It’s funny. And it hurts. I’m just going to sit on the bed for a few more minutes.

MIKE: Call me if you need anything.

KARI: I need my shoes.

MIKE: You’re going to have to get those yourself.

KARI: My socks are all wet. And my pants are dirty.

MIKE: I’ll take good care of you when you get home tonight.

KARI: Will there be ice cream?

MIKE: I don’t think anything with “ice” in the title is a good idea.

KARI: Frozen yogurt?

MIKE: Also sounds dangerous.

KARI: Sherbet?

MIKE: As long as you take your shoes off before you try to eat it.

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