“I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.”

For some reason, I have been thinking about some of the regrets I have as far as how I handled things when we parted ways with Mike’s parents. I was so young and I had never dealt with problems of that depth before. I was just really unprepared. I overreacted to things, I said and did things I’m ashamed of. I have apologized for those things and been forgiven, but I still wish I could go back and change them.

The biggest thing that strikes me as I look back is how sure of myself I used to be. I was so sure that I was right and I was sure I knew how other people would respond to things, and I was in over my head. When Mike and I were talking about this last night, I asked him if he thinks I am different than I was then, and he said that he thinks so. I feel different to myself, so it’s good to see that he can see the changes. Not all the changes, though, are positive ones. Instead of feeling sure of myself, I feel like I second-guess everything and doubt myself. I’ve swung too far the other way.

I am not sure exactly what I’m going to do about this. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.

In other news, my mom helped me pick out pillows to turn our cedar chest into a window seat, which we’re very excited about. And we’re also turning the old card catalog stand into an ottoman, and she helped me pick out fabric for it as well. I feel good about having more places to sit.

I finished Blessed are the Cheesemakers, which is my book club book for September. It was cute and quirky, maybe a little overly so, but I liked the characters and I think the book is pretty memorable just because of the subject matter. I liked the overall theme of the book, too. It was a nice light read, and I would recommend it to someone looking for a light read. It’s probably not quite strong enough for a book club, but I’m sure we’ll find something to talk about.

Last night I watched Before Sunset, so that I could see the next part of the story. I was doing some scrapbooking while I was watching it, and it made me so sad to think that their one perfect night had made real relationships hard for both of them. It was great, though, don’t get me wrong. It was just sad because of how realistic it was. It reminded me of how I am: afraid to be overly romantic because those kinds of things don’t line up with “real” life and I don’t want to have unrealistic expectations. After watching it, I told Mike that I don’t believe in soulmates, but if I had had an experience like theirs I think I might. What I really liked about it was that the things that happened seemed true to the characters. As sad as I was at the end, I felt like the characters were making the right decisions for themselves (even if I didn’t agree with them). I am not sure which one I liked better – there were great things about both of them. They have talked about making even more movies with these same characters, and I would love to see them if that happened.

Anyway, those are some disjointed thoughts for a Monday afternoon. This is a busy week: I’ve got my Harry Potter discussion tomorrow (which was in the Asheboro paper yesterday, so I have hopes that people will come!), Gilmore Girls and Survivor are premiering, I’ve got a dentist appointment, there’s yardwork that needs to be done . . . just a lot of things happening all at once. I’ll try to have better thoughts tomorrow.

(I’m still looking for band recommendations, so be sure and give me some.)

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