Write your own R. Kelly song

Mike made me watch the clip of R. Kelly from the VMA awards on Friday night. A few weeks ago, I read Pamie’s entry discussing how to write your own R. Kelly song, but I didn’t really get it. Well, after watching R. Kelly act out all the parts of “Trapped in the Closet,” I finally get it. Mike and I have been walking around turning our lives into R. Kelly songs just like Pam described.

KARI: I’m eating a BAGEL. It’s a really good BAGEL. There’s cream cheese on my BAGEL.

MIKE: Repetition is very important when singing like R. Kelly.

KARI: Yes, now you try.

MIKE: I’m doing my HOMEWORK. I’m reading this BOOK. I’m getting so SMART.

KARI: Do you think R. Kelly reads?

MIKE: Probably not.

KARI: We’re out on a BOAT. And it is so SUNNY. I’m WATERSKIING and falling down and there’s water up my NOSE.

MIKE: Our songs need more danger. I mean, Chuck possibly gave Rufus AIDS and he could have given it to Mary or whatever her real name was and then maybe she even gave it to the narrator (whose woman is sleeping with another man). And the narrator had a gun and Chuck had a knife. Where’s the danger in our songs?

KARI: I’m driving my car down the HIGHWAY. At a really high SPEED. And I’m looking in the MIRROR and putting on LIPSTICK.

MIKE: Oooh, dangerous!

KARI: Thank you.

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