Everyone around love them, love them

Sometime in the past couple of years I realized that there are areas where I gloss over things, where I paint them a little shinier than they were. Nothing especially bad has happened to me, by any means, but it seems that sometimes I am not able to face up to things as they really were. It’s almost as if I refuse to look at the bad and focus on the good to the detriment of seeing things with clear eyes.

There have been a few things in the past couple of weeks that made me realize how much this was hurting me and my relationships. It was interesting, too, that this was one of the themes of the best book I’ve read recently: Locked Rooms by Laurie King. (Yes, I’m just going to keep pimping it.) Mary Russell had to come to terms with some aspects of her past that she had been repressing, and some of the things that Sherlock Holmes was thinking and saying to her could have been said to me.

I don’t know why I cast myself in this role of perfection, why I squash out feelings I’m not comfortable with. But I have made some progress lately, sharing things with Mike that he never knew, trying to be more honest with myself. We’ll see where it takes me.

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