Relationship ponderings

Sometimes you’re in a relationship with someone (not a relationship-relationship, just a friendship sort of thing) for a long time, and something will happen that makes you realize, “This person doesn’t know me at all.”

I don’t think I am a terribly difficult person to get to know. I have walls, definitely, and I know how to distract people from what’s really going wrong in my life by talking about other, smaller, less-personal problems. But I think I am fairly good at letting people in, at least when they want to know me. So, in cases like these, the question becomes . . . did I keep this person from getting to know me, or were they just not interested?

Or is it something else entirely? Is it one of those things where people can’t really get to know one another because we’re all blinded by our own fears and insecurities and we don’t even know it? Is it projecting? Are we too similar? Just too different? Is there anything I can do about the problem, or should I just let the relationship go at some point? How much do I do this to other people – only paying attention to them in the ways that they are like me . . . or the ways that I think they are like me?

Pragmatic Kari says that if we haven’t gotten past this yet, we probably won’t, but there are parts of me that want to be more hopeful and to believe that this is the last obstacle, and after we get over this we can finally have the relationship I thought we could have.

Who knows which side will win out?

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