One more chance to change and grow

I don’t do resolutions, so last year I set some goals for this year. I thought I would like to learn how to knit and how to write calligraphy. Let me tell you the progress that I made on both of those things: zero. You know why? I investigated both of them early on in the year, but I didn’t know the right tools to buy. And money got a little tight this year, so I didn’t feel right about investing in new hobbies. Maybe in 2005 I will make a little progress on one of those. Here’s hoping. They are still both things that I am interested in learning.

Meanwhile, though, I don’t exactly feel like a failure. I did a lot of things in 2004 that are worth noting.

I went without so much as snitching a single french fry for the entire year. For the first time in my life, I have exercised regularly, and I am seeing the results. I can touch my toes. I can fit into clothes that I thought were lost to me forever. More than weight, I have a healthier body image than I have had in a long time.

At this point, I have read almost 70 books this year, with a few still in progress.

At work, I started a book club and recently started a new position.

I worked hard on my friendships this year, taking risks, sticking with them when it was hard. It hasn’t been easy, but I feel that I am making progress.

Mike and I bought a new house, and I picked out the paint colors. Which was a big deal for me, because home decorating and crafts are both areas where I feel woefully inadequate.

Mike and I have also grown closer in many ways, both of us making concerted efforts to grow in vulnerability. Every year, I feel that we know each other so much better. At the same time, I see that we have so much more to learn about one another and about our relationship. It’s an interesting combination, but we have made progress and I have seen both of us be very brave.

It hasn’t been an easy year by any means. One of the hardest yet. But I have accomplished quite a few things that I am proud of, and I want to celebrate those instead of the areas where I feel more like a failure.

What are you most proud of in 2004?

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