A mood on a gray day

I have been in a bit of a mood lately. I don’t know why. Actually, that’s completely untrue. I know exactly why, but it’s not fit for public consumption. So let’s just pretend I don’t know why.

The result of the mood is that I have been more withdrawn than usual the past couple of weeks. I’m a pretty verbal processor, and I haven’t really been processing. The end result of that has been a lot of “close to tears” moments, even though I wasn’t sure why. (And, since I wasn’t processing, I really wasn’t sure exactly why things were bothering me the way they were. I’m being honest this time.)

The past couple of days I have talked more to Mike about what’s been bothering me. He knew I wasn’t myself, but he didn’t know that I had let things get to me quite that much.

It’s interesting to me how I just need a conversation or two to put things into focus. I know not everyone is like me in that, but it reminds me that we are social creatures, meant to be in community. I still don’t know what to do about my mood, but I understand now why I feel this way and that I need to do something about it.

I think I alternate between blabbing everything I feel and holding it all in. I am trying to find a balance. Lately I haven’t been doing a great job, but I am trying.

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