An empty room is silent. A room where people are not speaking or moving is quiet. Silence is a given, quiet a gift. Silence can’t be anything but silent. Quiet chooses to be silent. It holds its breath to listen. It waits and is still.
“In returning and rest you shall be saved,” says God through the prophet Isaiah, “in quietness and confidence shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15). They are all parts of each other. We return to our deep strength and to the confidence that lies beneath all our misgiving. The quiet there, the rest, is beyond the reach of the world to disturb. It is how being saved sounds. -Frederick Buechner
Near the end of my exercise DVD, the hostess yells that we need to push through the pain because pain is fear leaving the body. In years past, I have mocked this for the ridiculous incoherent statement that it clearly is.
But this week, I have to admit that when she says that nonsense, I am actually kind of inspired. It’s like a switch flipped in my head, and after years of believing that I am not strong, I see more clearly. I have done a lot of things I didn’t know I could do two years ago. There is a strength inside of me that I have just started to learn. It is a quiet center, a small voice. It sounds like growing a human being, like juggling work and home life, like persevering.
This week it sounds like lunges and feels like fear leaving the body. And that is what is saving my life. What is saving your life this week?
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8 Comments
I love Buechner.
Also, you’ve inspired me. I worked out to an exercise DVD yesterday (not in our closet, though), complete with my toddler running around shouting, “Exercise! March it out! Whoo!”
:~)
I like this. I read a Ps. 131 this morning, which states “I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother.” I read and savored this psalm over my thanksgiving break, and I thought a lot about you when I read it. I don’t really understand why a weaned child would quiet itself with its mother (and I know that there is not a lot of quietness to Atticus, hehe), but I thought about your year of breastfeeding and the sacrifice that went into it, how it was an act of sacrificial love toward your son. It helped me to think of quieting my soul before the God who has sacrificed to give me nourishment, whose love is selfless and nurturing like that of a mother.
Wonderful thoughts Kari, and thank you for the quote. If you would like to explore additional quotes from Mr. Buechner, please visit his new website: http://www.frederickbuechner.com.
@Hannah: EXERCISE!
@Rebecca: That’s one of my favorites, thanks to that Waterdeep song.
Hannah, you made me laugh out loud! I have a marvelous video in my head of the scene you describe. Kari, “fear leaving the body” does sound ridiculous especially when what we are feeling is pure physical pain. But there is something inspiring, and perhaps even profound about the idea of fear leaving the body. Our fears immobilize us and cause all kinds of dysfunctions physically and otherwise. We do need to find ways to banish them – to “push through” them. I am so proud of you and how you have pushed through many of your fears in the past year. You inspire me to be a better self.
@Nancy: I think my favorite parts were when he would call out “Whoo!” after the girl on the DVD. He also would stand in front of me, excitedly jumping up and down saying, “Mama bouncing!”
Just catching up on blogs. We are doing Jillian’s 30 day shred too. I say we and mean Ainsley and I. She loves to do squats. Keep at it!