Our pastor has been doing a sermon series on baptism, and I have missed most of them because I didn’t go to our church for the entire month of October. I know! How does that happen? I am not sure. It was sickness and out-of-town-ness and out-of-town-guest-ness and just-plain-tiredness. But finally for November, I was able to be there. This week was about how your baptism relates to your calling as a Christian.
I struggle with the idea of calling. I see Mike teaching and I know that he is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing. He’s good at it and he finds it fulfilling and it is so apparent that all of his gifts and talents and quirks combine in one place to make him a great teacher. But I don’t feel that there is a place in my own life where I see that same thing. Don’t get me wrong – I like my job and it is fulfilling, meaningful work, but I don’t know what it would mean for it to be my calling. Maybe I’m still growing into it. Maybe I’m not the type of person who can be content like Mike can be content. Or maybe there’s another answer that I just don’t know yet.
On Tuesday night, we went with some friends to Natty Greene’s to attend a discussion of “The Gospel According to Johnny Cash.” They played several of his songs, including “Singer of Songs.” I was particularly struck by Johnny Cash’s proclamation of his own calling:
I can help proclaim the glory of this mighty king of kings.
Yes, I can do it with the songs I sing.
I’m not a great man. I don’t claim to be.
But when I meet my Maker and He questions me,
I won’t hang my head. I will stand proud and strong
and say, “I was a singer. Lord, I was a singer.
Yes, I was a singer of songs.”
I think proclaiming the message of God is a lot more than being a preacher. My church agrees, and every week you see that message in the bulletin: “Every member a minister.” I feel confident that Mike does it every day at school with the ways that he loves his students and challenges them to do their best. My attempt to speak truth to at least one student every day is part of that message, too, and that is part of my job and part of my interaction with students that makes me feel alive. I just wonder if there’s something I’m missing, because I don’t think I have an answer to those questions like Johnny Cash did. “I am a purveyor of information skills and self-esteem,” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
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3 Comments
It’s interesting that you posted this today… I had a meeting with my pastor today and we talked a lot about these same ideas. I think we can see our calling in our strengths and passions, regardless of how they play out in our lives. Maybe it’s incorporated into your job, like Mike (or Aaron), and maybe your job is just something you do that those things can be a part of. Or maybe your job is completely disconnected from your calling. All of that is okay.
But I would say that if you are a purveyor of self-esteem and you choose to spend your time with a bunch of junior high kids, they need you and you are in the right place. There aren’t a lot of people or places who offer that kind of support to kids.
Kari, every time I read about your interaction with your students, it makes me a little teary – because to me, that DOES seem like what all of your strengths and experiences seem to have equipped you to be GREAT at doing… your students are so lucky to have you as part of their otherwise traumatic middle school experience
How about “I spread the power to reach and touch the world and helped them to love themselves” I think that God will like that very much.