On Monday night, I had a class to attend, and in the middle of it, I could feel my blood sugar dropping. The assignments we were being given seemed too much. Not to mention that for my other class, my professor hadn’t yet put up the assignment that was due on Wednesday. I was running out of time and I was running out of energy to be able to handle it. By the time I got home, I had lost all perspective and had become totally unreasonable. I told Mike that I needed food, but that didn’t help, either, so I crawled in bed so as not to afflict my grouchiness on anyone else.
And then on Tuesday, I woke up with a sore throat. Oh. That happens from time to time – I remember one time in grad school, when I was working as an intern at the public library and was basically having the crabbiest day ever. And then I woke up sick the next morning. I had to apologize to the administrative assistant at the library for how I had spoken to her. She very graciously forgave me. Does that happen to anyone else? Or just me?
A visit to the doctor after school confirmed that I was sick, but just with a virus, so of course, nothing could be done. (Check it out, a visit to the doctor on September 29th, during which time they tell me I have a virus and it has to run its course is becoming a fall tradition.) She told me to stay out of work for a couple of days, so on Wednesday, I camped out on the couch. By 11:30, I had written four papers and felt much better about my stress levels. I got more things done in the afternoon, and I made progress in my (very interesting) book (which you will be hearing about next week). If a sick day can be a blessing, this one certainly was.
All day on Wednesday, the phrase, “Hope does not disappoint us,” kept running through my mind. Until Monday, I would have said that I’m handling school stresses okay, that I am maintaining a steady balance overall. But Monday made me doubt I would make it the remaining nine weeks (NINE WEEKS AND THEN I AM FREEEEEEEE), and I was seriously wondering if I was going to actually be able to complete the coursework in the allotted amount of time. I was, in short, losing hope.
I know that passage is about suffering, and that I am not suffering by any stretch of the imagination. But surely being overwhelmed, which is a regular part of the human condition, can count. After all, it also requires us to persevere, which produces character. Of course, I don’t always feel as if I want character. It would be nice if things were easier. I could do with a bit less character, if I was being honest.
This time, hope did not disappoint me. I was able to get my work done, to feel more on top of things (despite having a terrible sore throat). I will take the gift of productivity on a sick day with a thankful heart, and be ready to head back to work refreshed.