However, those things did not erase my overall feelings that I was just making the right moves in a game that I was lucky to understand. People would explain things to me in my biology class, and then I would score much higher on the test than they would. Did I understand the material better than they did? I am not convinced that I did, and I felt a lot of guilt about it at the time.

Amen, sister.

oh, and i feel you on the HS experience. looking back on it i felt i just did the work expected of me, not because i wanted to, but just that it was the only thing to do. it was a game, cause i remember i worked my butt off to get a 4.0 one year (8th grade) just to say i could to this girl in my class who thought i couldn’t. (we were rivals).