Once a year, I have to go to the eye doctor to see how my eyes are doing. The doctor has a really bad habit of saying that everything is perfect. Multiple times. So, I am happy to report to you that my eyes are, well, perfect. Perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect.
I had my eye surgery at the Duke Eye Center. There are always eye doctors in training who would like to take a look at the lenses. The doctors-in-training at Duke are always a certain type. They are slim. Cute. With dark hair. Not especially tall. Think Chris Collins.
Monday’s Chris Collins was very nice. We made small talk, he checked the pressure in my eyes. And then. Then he strapped on this giant weird headlamp thing in order to “look at the back of [my] eyes.”
Okay. I am, unfortunately, the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. So when the eye doctor randomly and without warning straps on a giant headlamp and is looking directly at my face, I. Have. A. Problem. A serious problem. I cannot look away. I cannot hide my face. I cannot do anything except giggle uncontrollably. Which makes me giggle more uncontrollably. This is just a guess, but I think that Chris Collins is maybe not the hugest fan of me. I did not respect the headlamp.
So, it’s a good thing that I don’t have to go back for a year. At which time there will be a new Chris Collins for me to get to know. Perhaps I will be better behaved. At least I will be better prepared.
(You can’t just grab a giant headlamp out of the corner, strap it on your head, and pretend that is normal. Okay? I would think that was a basic rule. Of etiquette. Check with Emily Post, I am sure she agrees.)
(I really really wanted to say, “Are we going on The Amazing Race?” I hope you are impressed with my self-control.)
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7 Comments
Hi – this is hysterical. You totally showed a huge amount of self control. Also – I totally get food as a love language (sorry I am a day behind!) – everything looked great!
That made me cackle.
Also, if it makes you feel any better, I totally giggled during my mammogram. Only because she was giving me instructions that sounded like a yoga class. She was… unimpressed. Ha.
You dissed the headlamp! Brave soul!
funny funny funny funny!
That is too funny, I too would not had been able to control the laughter, when I go to the eye doctor I laugh every time, however, I have to go back to him over and over again, I think that he just gets that I think he looks funny…. Maybe they should say, I am about to put this thing on my head that will probably make me look really goofy… but I don’t know that it would help!!
Have a great weekend!!
when my eye doctor has to look at the back of my eye, i have to have my chin placed on this bar thing, and then he shines a really bright light inside. i don’t get the head lamp.
That was hilarious! I have a problem when giggling at the worst times. Such as when I’m nervous. Only, that’s REALLY bad. Such as… when I had to fire someone for the first time. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from laughing! That’s horrible.