Our bathroom has two sinks, and mine is the closest to the door, so, in the mornings, Mike usually knocks rather than swinging the door open and knocking me in the side. This is especially important because I could be putting on eyeliner and knocking me in the side could cause me to put out an eye. The bathroom is a dangerous place, my friends.
This morning, Mike knocked on the door and I said, “Candygram.” We both giggled. Not the most clever response, but, you know, no coffee yet. It was the best I could do. The choices were either, “Housekeeping,” or, “Candygram.” I went with, “Candygram.”
Mike proceeded to tell me that, when he went to Myrtle Beach with his sea turtle class, there was some kind of . . . event. And some of them had to dress up. (This was the first I had heard of this, and I was sure he was going to tell me he dressed as a sea turtle egg and WHY HAD I NOT HEARD ABOUT THIS BEFORE AND WHERE WERE THE PICTURES? Sadly, that was not the case. But wouldn’t you like to see that?) He said that one of his classmates dressed as a shark, so, of course, Mike kept saying, “Candygram.” And none of his classmates got it. At all. They had no idea what he was talking about. They’re all about ten years younger than he is . . . but how do they not know “candygram?” What does it mean for the future of this country if college students know nothing about the history of SNL, nay, the history of comedy in this fine land? Will future generations only think of Will Ferrell and Borat when they think of humor? Or . . . is “candygram” really that obscure of a reference? hehe.