KARI: Where’s the guacamole?
MIKE: It was turning brown on the top.
MIKE: . . .
KARI: So, where is it?
MIKE: I ate it.
KARI: All of it?
KARI: You ate the whole container of guacamole?
KARI: The whole container? That my aunt flew up from Florida?
KARI: The whole container that my aunt flew up from Florida for both of us to share?
MIKE: It’s the only thing I had to eat today.
KARI: I didn’t even get to taste it.
MIKE: You don’t like guacamole.
KARI: Yes I do! I introduced you to guacamole!
MIKE: It was in the house at least . . . eight hours. You had your chance.
KARI: I was sleeping then! We brought it home last night!
MIKE: And then you left me alone with the guacamole.
KARI: And then I went to work! To make money!
MIKE: I have lost weight since yesterday. The guacamole diet. Just eat chips and guacamole, and you, too, can lose weight.
KARI: What about cholesterol?
MIKE: My diet is for those Hollywood stars who don’t care about cholesterol. They only care about being thin.
KARI: I am pretty sure that your diet is not going to make anyone thin.
MIKE: Look at the scale. You can’t argue with results.
KARI: You are trying to distract me. But I will not forget that you ate the whole container of guacamole. And I got none.
MIKE: You snooze, you lose.
KARI: I was sleeping, yes, but I don’t think I should be penalized for sleeping at night instead of eating guacamole.
MIKE: Those are the rules.
KARI: Did you eat all the salsa, too?
MIKE: No. You like the salsa.
KARI: I LIKE THE GUACAMOLE, TOO.
MIKE: I thoughtfully left you the salsa.
KARI: Did you have any?
KARI: If you eat my salsa, I will cut you.
MIKE: It’s just food.
KARI: Says the man who ate an entire container of guacamole.
MIKE: It went really well with the piece of cheese I stole from your bag.
KARI: . . .
MIKE: Please don’t cut me.