And what message would I have wanted from the stars that night when I wandered motherless for the first time in my life? What message would I want the sky to tell me on any night? That I am loved? That I am protected? That something understands my efforts though they fail? That the sky is a curtain behind which all that we long for waits, all the dreams we mourn that are held in the arms of the dead, who wait and whisper like children in a game of hiding? That if I have faith I will be embraced by an understanding that is complete and blissful? Perhaps if one stops looking up at the stars and looks instead at this world, the messages we need would be there and the gods could tend to larger matters than one tiny person’s sorrow. -Confessions of a Pagan Nun by Kate Horsley
This month, my book club is reading Confessions of a Pagan Nun, and I am not liking the book very much. In fact, I was stuck on page 26 for close to two weeks. But it’s getting to be crunch time, so I read another 40 pages last night and have been enjoying it a little more. While I do think that God cares about each person’s sorrow, something about the above passage caught me like nothing in the book had so far. It’s been true for me that when I stop focusing so much on my own needs and instead turn my thoughts to those around me, things seem better. And when I stop looking for signs in the sky, I can more easily see God working all around me.
So, I’m not going to recommend this book, but I did enjoy that passage. I am about 1/3 of the way through at this point, so I should have no problem getting it done on time.
Last night I spoke to a local book club (not the one I am in) about some of the new books at the library. Before I left, I sent Alisa an email that said I was nervous about it, and on my way home I left her a message that said, “It went well, I don’t know why I was so nervous. Books aren’t scary, and older women aren’t scary. Putting them together shouldn’t be scary.” Actually, it was a lot of fun to tell them about some of the new books we have here and to talk about some of their favorites. A couple of the ladies from my book club are also in that one, and it was fun to see them as well. All in all, good book experiences lately. I’m gearing up for two book discussions next week: The regular one on Confessions of a Pagan Nun and one aimed at teenagers on The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. After getting more read in Confessions of a Pagan Nun, I’m really looking forward to them both.