“Time it was and what a time it was
A time of innocence
A time of confidences
Long ago it must be
I have a photograph
Preserve your memories
They’re all that’s left you” -Simon and Garfunkel, “Bookends”
On the last day of Governor’s School, someone played this song and said, “This is how I feel about this summer.” Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits had long been a staple in my car, so of course I knew the song, but it hasn’t been the same for me since that day. I hear it and I remember that last day and how tired I was from staying up late and from crying. I remember that summer, how hard it was and how much fun I had, and how much it changed me. A thousand little memories return – eating pizza in Brooke’s room, playing pool in the basement, sleeping through assemblies (not me, but my friends), my birthday, late-night games and conversation . . . could that all have happened in just six weeks?
If that was the only story I had about this song, that would be enough. And I wish it was, but the problem is that, as it takes me back to those amazing places, it also reminds me of my former best friend, because I met her at Governor’s School, and most of those memories also involve her. I haven’t yet figured out how to look at those memories without letting them be shadowed by what came later. And when I have those eyes, lines like, “A time of innocence/a time of confidences,” feel more bitter and poignant.
That’s not the way I want to remember that summer (“the summer that changed my life,” as I have been wont to say and as cliche as it sounds), so forgiveness in this case also means reclaiming those memories for what they really were, and letting the things that happened later be what they were without letting them take over my whole life.
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8 Comments
its funny how songs and smells can bring us back to a very specific point in our history..complete with pictures and tears. thanks for the beautiful post.
I know what you mean, Kari. There are songs for me that are tied to amazing memories and times of my life, but are also tied to tough things that have happened.
I read on Evangelical Outposts that the blog “Through a Glass, Darkly” had been chosen for some award or something and I thought it was you…
But alas….it’s this Through a Glass Darkly. Did you know you were not alone?
I knew that I wasn’t the first “Through a Glass, Darkly” to come up via Google. But congrats to the other guy. hehe.
I didn’t know you were a governor’s school alum (or perhaps I had forgotten.) I went to GSE in ’98 in Social Science.
GSW ’96. Math.
Emily: I completely agree with what you said in the lines above. A smell, a piece of music, the words of a song… all that… takes you back to the time you felt a particular emotion, or experienced certain feelings…
My e-mail address: ocarnero@yahoo.com
a very good web site about something witch worths talking about it
sometimes tears come up to my eyes when i listen this song
bad time – good tears
good time – nice smile and good tears