Mike and I had a really nice day yesterday. We went to church and then came home and did some housework. He got tired of waiting for me to finish decorating our house, so he started putting pictures and candles out. Of course, he put them in all the wrong places, so I had to rearrange. But his evil plan worked – we finally have pictures on our mantle, and more up in our kitchen. We still need to hang up pictures in the house, but it’s really getting to be more homey.
In the afternoon, I made the invitations for my birthday party, and he helped me with some of the measuring and cutting and that kind of thing. We had another couple over for dinner last night, and played Scattergories (I won!) and ate brownies and had a fun time with them. After that, Mike and I read a few chapters together in The Wedding (we are almost done). We had a very companionable day, no fighting or bickering or anything. And our house is clean! We both had last Thursday off, and it was a great day as well, running lots of errands and getting stuff done. It used to be that when we had a whole day together, we would often bicker a bit in the afternoon, but we haven’t lately. We haven’t had a whole lot of time together in the past few weeks, so that might be part of it. But things have been . . . good. It’s weird to say that, but they have.
Of course, that makes me scared. Do all these good times mean that something bad is about to happen? Is a shoe about to drop?
(If so, what does the shoe look like? I could use some new shoes.)
Another friend and I have talked about how we often expect the worst out of life. If there’s something good that could happen, we don’t get our hopes up that it will work out, so we can be pleasantly surprised if it does, but not heartbroken if it doesn’t. Guarding against disappointment. It’s not the most healthy way to live, but it can help you survive.
Even in the midst of fear and protecting my heart, I am starting to feel a little more hopeful. It’s as if I have been waiting for the sun through a long cold night . . . and the sky is just starting to turn a little pink. It’s coming, I can tell – I am not going to be able to hold out against the sun much longer. It’s coming, and so is everything that comes along with it, everything I’ve missed over the past year. Mike keeps reassuring me that he and I are going to be fine . . . and I’m starting to believe him.
Yesterday was really good. And I am glad.
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11 Comments
So odd that you should write about this in your blog today….Carlton and I just had a convesation about this last night… He says that I am so negative, but I try to explain to him that I am not getting my hopes up so as not to be so disappointed if something I’d like to happen doesn’t happen. That way, I can be totally surprised and overjoyed when it does, and when it doesn’t, I’m not devastated…..I told him I’m just being realistic, but he says I’m pessimistic.
Is your party going to be like a hobbit party where you give gifts to everyone else?
Also, I’m glad to hear you’re feeling more hopeful
all I can really do is smile..
Nice try, Shearer, but no. For that, you must bring me extra presents.
Karen, do you think that being pessimistic like that is more of a girl thing? Do guys do it, too, or do they not get their emotions as tied up in things in general, so it’s not as much of a problem? (The reason I decided to talk about this today is because I am stalking you. In case you were wondering.)
what a happy entry.
i’m with trey…
Maybe it will be a man’s shoe.
Don’t worry about life going south on you; it’ll happen sure as the sun’ll come up tomorrow. Worry about life going north on you.
Can’t say it would be a woman thing, as I had a best friend in high school (a guy) who felt the same way. Not sure why I am that way, but it can cause tension in marriage can’t it?
Oh, that’s so good to hear that things are good, Kari. I am totally the same way at times, don’t want to hope, so that I won’t be disappointed.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, HOPES all things, and endures all things.” I Cor 13:7
Im going to be honest here. When I read how happy your day and spending time with Mike was, I was happy with you. Then you get to the part about “is something about to happen thats bad?” I got frustrated. But then a split second later, I realize that I do that too in certain areas of my life. The places where Ive been hurt before, places Im scared of letting my heart go to, thats where I doubt too. Im not saying its right, but I am saying your not alone Kari. If it helps, you have helped me in my faith a lot.
I haven’t listened to that song (or that album) for SO LONG. But it is indeed a good one. And I often feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop — and at one point in my life, I “joked” that I was waiting to pick my shoes up….