Through a Glass, Darkly

Every year I find myself struggling to come up with something to give up for Lent. Last year I gave up a website where I spend a lot of my days. Which meant I found other websites where I still wasted time, but I did find more time for prayer and reflection.

My life was pretty much falling apart this time last year. I honestly don’t know how I finished my projects for my classes, or how I was able to get stuff done in time to graduate. I flat-out don’t remember. For my Business Reference class, I did a huge project on Netflix. I look at it now, and I don’t remember doing the work.

What I do remember about last year is that I felt closer to God than I have in a long time. He was right there with me, getting me through the days. Maybe he even did my homework for me – I am honestly not sure. What we celebrate during Lent is that he came here, experienced temptation and life just as we do, and that he overcame. If I felt lonely or sad or betrayed, well, I just had to look at Scripture and see that he felt the same when he was here. I don’t worship an inaccessible God. I worship one who knows what it’s like to be a human on earth, and who can help me live as he did.

At least part of that was because I didn’t have the site or those friends to distract myself with. (I am by no means saying that none of the discussions I have there are edifying, but we do shoot a lot of breeze.) I couldn’t escape my problems by goofing off and being silly.

I wonder why I allow myself to fill my day with busy-ness. Why don’t I allow myself to experience that closeness to Jesus year-round?

So, this year I still haven’t decided what (if anything) to give up for Lent. But my prayer is that this year’s Lent will spring me into a Lenten attitude year-round.